Top 10 reasons to follow me on Twitter

Ok, there’s only one reason, and that’s that I’m pretty hilarious. But to demonstrate why you should follow my Twitter all the time, I’m posting a teaser. Yes, this is like the Amazon book review of my Twitter account. It’s better than the real thing, and if you don’t have time to read the whole thing you can just mention these talking points and people will think you have. I do what I can for convenience.

1 ) Went for a jog and got lost, which pretty much equated to a long, frantic jog.

2 ) Mom: I lost my debit card. Dad: God probably hid it to protect our financial future.

3 ) Drats, the Amazon PayPhrase “emily loves cats” was already taken!

4 ) Stopped for power steering fluid this morning – cost me $2.19 and the worst pickup line of my life.

5 ) Wearing jeggings to the capitol – may all the lawmakers judge my generation!

6 ) I wish I had a superpower to be able to correct all the misused possessives in restaurant signs.

7 ) I think my new diet plan is to only eat organic food. Not because it’s better for you, just because I can afford less of it.

8 ) Am I the only driver that considers going through puddles to be a free undercarriage rinse?

9 ) Barbara Walters just got in a fight with a Maverick. (Note: this event a result of great cat names)

10 ) So I gave a homeless guy cans and it turned into the book “if you give a mouse a cookie.” Now I’m kinda scared.

So. Clearly you should follow @emilyjanelawler. #justsayin

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