I was on another bike trip this weekend, and found myself recounting some of the crazy things drivers have done to me as a cyclist. But my trip back reminded me that as a driver, I’ve seen some really strange stuff on the road as well.
1) Today I was pulling into a parking lot, and a minivan (it’s always a minivan) backed out nearly into me. I was confused and half in traffic, so I just kind of waited. The guy spent some time trying to do some reverse-turning thing and eventually just rolled down his window and yelled “MY SON IS BLEEDING!”
There were a lot of connections that I tried to make and couldn’t. For instance, how does having a bleeding son make you a shitty driver?
But I figured I should cut the panicked parent some slack, so I backed out onto the busy street and he had room to maneuver out.
2) A couple of years ago I saw a grown man driving in the lane next to me while sucking on a pacifier. People are weird.
3) Cops are another story, but I felt that the time I was pulled over for allegedly tailgating in bumper to bumper traffic was particularly ridiculous. As was the time I got pulled over for stopping to pick my roommate up from the library.
4) While I was driving my 1996 Chevy Tahoe of yesteryear, I got rear ended in Lansing. I pulled over, reached for my insurance information, and looked up in time to see the driver of the car go by and give me the bird. I guess my trailer hitch had put a hole in their low-to-the-ground sedan. But still. You just hit my car and gave me the bird? People.
5) I am 85% sure I rear-ended an undocumented worker a couple years ago. I reached for the phone and he was like “NO POLICE NO POLICE!” Then he called me a “crazy mujera” and demanded $300. I made a police report without him, but don’t really know how that was resolved. Nothing ever came through on my insurance.
6) A week or so ago, I was behind one car at a traffic light. It was a four lane road, and when the light turned green all the other lanes went. So probably 30 seconds later, I gave the horn a little love tap to alert this guy. He waved a bible at me out his window. A bible!
I was like whatever man, God’s on my side and so are the traffic laws.
Anyway, next time I get hit by a car, chased off the road by a gang, etc. while biking, I’ve got to keep this in perspective. Drivers are crazy, and on my bike there’s just less metal between me and the crazies.